Reviews

OK! Magazine
If it seems like everyone around you is getting hitched, pick up this guide for tips on bridesmaid's budgets, preoccupied pals and more. It will help assuage your panic when you get yet another announcement in the mail.
Jan 22, 2007

Library Journal
Former Cosmopolitan editor Torneo and former advertising executive Krause have put together this funny yet serious handbook for all those young single women deluged with engagement parties, shower invitations, and, most of all, the intense pressure to find a husband. The authors discuss how to choose gifts and stick to a budget, what to do when one's best friend is totally caught up in wedding preparations, and how to enjoy the many opportunities of life while single. On a more serious note, they warn against marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons. It's a book that will resonate with many women and a few men in their twenties and thirties.
For all public libraries. Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information.

Publishers Weekly
For anyone who's thought to herself something like, “even my college roommate with Tourette's has a ring,” the release of Torneo and Cabrera's tough but sincere guide to “keeping the crazies in check” in the wake of friends' weddings may spell relief. With care, humor, and a thorough understanding of the fine line between envy and disgust padded by single women watching friends get swept through the marriage mill, Torneo and Cabrera manage to keep everything in perspective. There are practical, if at times obvious, suggestions (tired of “lobridemized” friends? Hang out with guy friends who could care less), an empathetic and illuminating look inside the mind of the “bridal drone,” and ways to get through the wedding season without overspending. Other chapters cover everything from pre-wedding parties to silencing the “when are you going to get married?” chorus to determining what marriage trajectory works for you-including, yes, whether your current boyfriend is real marriage material. The authors aren't interested in emotional depth, nor in taking on the multi-billion dollar wedding industry, but they have given voice to a particular set of young women, and this winning book should be a comforting and vindicating addition to their libraries.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Associated Press
The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years (Random House) offers "reality checks" for women who can come to feel like they're the only ones in the world not getting hitched.

Authors Erin Torneo and Valerie Krause advise how to save money while springing for everyone's weddings, how to handle the “I've Got Big News” phone call from yet another friend, and how to deflect your family's questions about your love life, among other subjects.

Cosmopolitan
Why Don't You...save $$ on wedding gifts. Yes, friends' weddings are fun and beautiful...but,ugh, pricey presents can be a burden on your cash situation. "Round up your friends and chip in on a big-ticket item," suggests Erin Torneo, coauthor of The Bridal Wave. The bride won't be doing the math to figure out how much you spent. She'll just be psyched that someone got her an espresso machine.
March, 2007

VC Reporter
Excerpted from Wedding bell blues: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride? The Bridal Wave is here to help By STEPHANIE KINNEAR

With chapters on everything from “Navigating the Wedding Season” to “Spinster City,” the authors offer up practical advice that will help single gals cope as friend after friend shacks up. The advice ranges from ultra-useful tips on wedding and pre-wedding etiquette (“Do I bring a gift to the engagement party?”) to really silly, but fun ways to get over your jealousy of said bride (like “thinking of three things that you have/do/are that you would never trade for her life”).

Reading Bridal Wave is like chatting with a good friend; one that’s not married. The writing style is conversational, witty and often more than a little bitchy. Torneo and Cabrera Krause have no love for those people who like to ask, “When are you going to settle down with a nice man?” and they spare no vitriol. If you’re not hitched already, by the end of The Bridal Wave Torneo and Cabrera Krause will have convinced you that there is no rush. Whether you end up getting married or not, this is a great place to renew your self esteem and your self worth.

The Bridal Wave is a great book for any woman who’s ever felt any insecurity over not getting married. Testimonials from real women, scattered throughout the book, will reaffirm what you already knew: You’re not alone. And page after page of friendly advice will help you navigate and even possibly enjoy the wedding season, whether or not you’ve got a ring on your finger.
Feb 22 , 2007

Florida Today
Excerpted from Bridesmaids Revisited: A 'reality check' for women who believe they're the only ones not getting hitched By CATHY MATHIAS

In spite of the enormous strides made by women in business and politics, the authors believe young women still feel the pressure to get married when they see everyone else is doing it. And it's not helped by all those irritating relatives at Thanksgiving dinners who insist you join the marital ranks. You know it's wrong to want to scream when you get yet another "I'm engaged!" phone call, but this book is here to help you deal with it.

These authors have lived it. One is married, the other is not. They've seen their friends go nuts at what they call "Club Wed," and they've written a breezy, funny guide that reads like a "Sex in the City" episode.
Feb 26, 2007

Armchair Interviews
Reviewed By MEG SHERIDAN

We've all dealt with it before...it's something we've all dreaded and muddled through in an attempt to show love and support to our best friends during their happy time of engagement parties and stress of planning a wedding. And, at one time or another, we have all been envious and maybe a little unsure of how to act without coming off as being totally calloused and envious of our friend's good fortune.

The Bridal Wave gives practical, light-hearted and down-to-earth advice. I'm positive I'm not the only woman that has ever had questions regarding correct etiquette and what all is appropriate for showers and presents and such. There's no longer a need to worry. The authors plainly tell you what is allowed and what isn't...ranging anywhere from what to wear to what time you should arrive for the ceremony. And wonderful 'believe it or knot' hints flow throughout the pages to keep you informed on the no-so-often mentioned side of the wedding planning and parties.

The Bridal Wave seeks to encourage women to enjoy whatever season of life they are in and offers guidance on how to live it up even if to some extent you wish that it were you. The pages are filled with hilarious and much-needed information that the women of today's society needs--especially during the bridal wave season!

Armchair Interviews says: Get prepared. The mailbox is starting to fill with invitations and you can hear the wedding bells ring in that season.
March 8 , 2007

Curled Up With A Good Book
The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years by Erin Torneo & Valerie Krause is dedicated to “all the women who read the title of this book and got it instantly.” As one of those women, I can’t endorse this book enough.

Peppered with pithy phrases – “nuptial nonsense,” “lobridemy,” “Club Wedd,” the “itch-to-hitch epidemic,” “cult of the wedding binder” – that see through all the ‘happily ever after/one perfect day’ propaganda, The Bridal Wave is utterly relatable. Through discussions that range from the personal (what happens when your younger sister marries first) to the public (the role of friends, family, finances, feminism and fame in creating an atmosphere where marriage is the ultimate goal), the authors remain earnest, humorous, helpful and satisfyingly modern.

Torneo and Krause also address important issues that aren’t covered in any bridal magazine - or, for that matter, any magazines. They acknowledge that even though you may be happy for your friends, you may also be sad, jealous, angry, hurt, lonely, and/or sick of weddings. They discuss the idea that, even in this day and age, most young women have a mental “must-be” timeline ("must be married by 27, in order to have children by 30"), and why it’s both deceptive and dangerous. Many of the real life dilemmas you face when hit with a Bridal Wave – the sudden outflow of cash; what to do if you don’t like the groom; the "minefield of etiquette" that is a wedding; when to be honest, and when to fake it; why not to choose the wedding reception of a friend as the place to dissect your current relationship – are all included.

In keeping with the sense of perspective Torneo & Krause are trying to provide, and as a means of cutting through the “wedding static,” each chapter ends with “sanity saving vows” designed to show the importance of remaining true to yourself, whether you’re single, engaged, or otherwise occupied. They even go so far as to provide a script for difficult situations: explaining why singledom rocks to your grandmother, for example.

Aimed at helping overwhelmed women wind their way through "matrimania" – from the “I’ve got big news!” engagement call, to the “estrogen purgatory” that is a bridal shower; from the bachelorette parties to the dress fittings, and all the way through to the big day, The Bridal Wave may help to keep a reader’s head above water… and their sense of humor intact.
Originally published on Curled Up With A Good Book at www.curledup.com. © Melissa McLaughlin, 2007

MACLEANS.CA
Excerpted from Avoiding the Bridal Wave By JULIE MCKINNELL

Wedding season is on the horizon. Brides-to-be are mailing out invites. You could get a dozen invitations this summer. Excited? Good for you.

Not so excited? A new book sympathizes, especially with the single woman, and offers tips and strategies on how not to go berserk from frustration, or for that matter broke from buying a bunch of food processors as wedding gifts when you can't even afford one yourself.

Erin Torneo and Valerie Cabrera Krause are the authors of The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years. The book is aimed at fed up, unwed women in their twenties and thirties who would rather stay home and clean the toilet than attend yet another friend's wedding.
May 21, 2007

Interviews

US News and World Reports
Excerpted from Cutting Those Budgetbusting 'necessities' By Kirk Shinkle

The weddings: theirs. Are your vacation days (and an unfortunate chunk of salary) going toward other people's far-flung nuptials? You're not alone. Destination weddings are on the rise, simply because friends and families are more spread out than ever. Last year, 4 in 10 weddings took place somewhere other than where the couple lives, according to TheKnot.com. Weekend-long events are now the rule rather than the exception, and plane tickets and hotels add up quickly.

So do you have to go? Valerie Cabrera Krause, coauthor of The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years, says you should figure out your place in the pecking order: an A-, B-, or even C-list guest. Did you get a last-minute invite? Skip it (though you'll still have to get a gift). If you're going solo, find a "wedding buddy" to share a room and other expenses.

New York Daily News
Excerpted from The bridal wave: Drowning in a sea of bridesmaid dresses and nagging relatives? Here's how to survive By JANE RIDLEY

Like many a single girl in her mid-twenties or thirties, the Manhattan publicist had suddenly found herself caught in the “Bridal Wave,” swimming against the current as friend after friend and cousin after cousin follows the traditional route down the aisle....

Weddings can not only dent your self-esteem, they can seriously damage your bank account. How many times, for example, have you blown your hard-earned cash on yet another saucier pan? And there's a limit to the number of times you can fake an interest in porcelain china with a registry-obsessed Bridezilla.

The phenomenon has been identified by Brooklyn writer Erin Torneo and her co-author, Valerie Cabrera Krause, whose sassy new book, The Bridal Wave, has the subtitle: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years.

Brooklyn Courier-Life
Excerpted from Bummed about marital bliss - Authors provide survival guide to wedding fever By HELEN KLEIN

In part, the book was conceived as an antidote to an overdose of manufactured marital bliss, as packaged by the $125-billion marriage industry which, said Torneo, is, “Making a lot of money by perpetrating the mythology of the big day. We’re not anti-marriage. We’re just anti the pressure to get married.”

The Bridal Wave appears to be reaching the right audience. “The most reassuring thing we’ve heard from women was, ‘I thought I was the only one who had these feelings.’ I hope one of the services the book provides is the knowledge that you are not alone,” reported Torneo.

A lot of the conflict experienced by women, Torneo stressed, revolves around the equivocal situation they find themselves in. On the one hand, they are making careers a priority, while, on the other, society still expects them to get married and raise a family.

“There’s an inherent contradiction for our readers,” stressed Torneo. “They were brought up being told they can be anything they want to be, yet they get to 25, 26, 27 and they are being asked, ‘When are you getting married? When are you going to settle down?’ That’s frustrating.”married? When are you going to settle down?’ That’s frustrating.”

Northwest Herald
Excerpted from Solidarity Needed For Singles, Couples By GENEVA WHITE

Erin Torneo, co-author of the savvy book “The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-is-Getting-Married Years” understands the divide that can sometimes occur between couples and singles. Now engaged herself, she told me how when you’re single, it sometimes feels like your coupled or engaged friends are leaving you behind.

“I think people generally want to be happy for their friends, but no one wants to hear how perfect their life is,” said Torneo, who wrote the book with college friend Valerie Cabrera Krause. “No one’s life is perfect.”

But both singles and couples can show each other a little compassion and understanding, Torneo said. If your close friend is getting married, don’t roll your eyes at her newfound happiness, embrace it. There are benefits to being a supportive friend during the wedding planning process. Maybe you’ll have a say in picking out a bridesmaid’s dress that’s affordable and flatters your figure, Torneo said. Or you might get to enjoy some free food while taking part in tastings.

“Suddenly the things that are occupying their friend’s brain are completely foreign to the single girl,” Torneo said. “That’s a tough thing for that [single] friend to navigate.”

Torneo also recommends inviting an engaged friend to take a break from the wedding planning process. Invite her to do something non-wedding related.

“A lot of women like the opportunity to do what they used to and remember their life before the ring,” Torneo said.

Radio

Candace Bushnell's Sex, Success and Sensibility: 2/1/07

Father Dave Dwyer's Busted Halo: 2/1/07

The Rolonda Watts Show: 1/18/07

The Radio Ritas: 1/3/07

Enlightening Relationships with Carol Allen: 12/17/06